There are a lot of things wrong with the way I'm living. My health is just poor. I don't eat right. I don't get enough exercise. My job makes me feel bad about myself daily. My home, instead of being a cozy haven of contentment, is a chaotic, filthy mess. We should be on a tv show like Hoarders or something. I have no time to take care of any of the things that I feel like I should really be doing. This city is making me miserable. Yeah, I know. Whine, whine.
Three days ago I was driving near my office with my 11 year old nephew in the truck, on our way to get some pizza. We drove up on quite a scene. In the lane next to us but going in the other direction was a car that was sitting still at an angle in the lane. There was also a police car. And an officer with gun drawn and pointing in the car as he moved around to the driver's side, shouting at the occupants. I couldn't see into the car through the pitch black tint, so I didn't know if it was full of bad guys with guns, or just a little old lady from Pasadena. Considering the window tint and the officer's behavior, I'd have to bet on that first choice. Griffin got down and I hit the gas and got us the hell out of there.
I don't know if you can imagine how upsetting it was to have that going on right next to us with my nephew in the truck. He was pretty shaken up and his mother told me it's still bothering him. Me, too, Buddy. Me, too.
Two days ago I was at Folks Restaurant picking up my catering order for my company's Christmas lunch. They weren't open for lunch yet, so the parking lot was deserted. One of the employees helped me carry some jugs of tea to my car. Then he went back inside to get the cart with all of the food on it. I stayed outside making room in the trunk for the food.
Around the corner came this shattered wreck of a human being, and he came straight at me. Normally I am the most tolerant person in the world but excuse me if I describe this guy the way I perceived him - a filthy, smelly, crazy, dangerous, homeless crackhead. I've been living in the city for almost 3 decades now and this was not my first time at the rodeo. Normally I have no trouble warning off folks like this who approach me.
Apparently I managed to encounter the one guy like this who wasn't looking for money. He was horny. Great.
It got physical. And it got ugly. And scary. And it was terribly upsetting.
Thankfully the Folks guy came through the door with the cart, saw what was happening and ran straight at us, scaring the crazy guy away. I need to take him some kind of thank you, don't you think? Maybe some home canned goodies and some cash? He was literally my hero in a white kitchen coat pushing a shining catering cart. Bless him.
Looking back now, I realize, of course, that I should have called the police and done something about this maniac. At the time it, though, it was like I was in a tunnel. All I could see was getting back to the safety of my office. I don't think I was thinking very clearly, really. I barely reacted at all until after the lunch was over and I had time to relax.
It took until I was shouting at my entire department at work yesterday for me to realize how upset I am about all of this.
I realize that crime is everywhere and moving to the country won't guarantee I won't ever encounter a criminal or dangerous situation. But it sure would be unlikely to happen to days in a row out there, right? Also, not so many strangers wandering around out in the sticks where everybody knows everybody.
Time to rethink our schedule? The move to our country home is scheduled for July 2013. I just don't think I can wait that long. I feel like I have no control over my life here. There, I can set my schedule, actually make choices about how to spend my time, go outside, live a life that is cleaner and healthier in many ways.
I really need to change my life.